Sky - A Night Out With Gail Porter

Fully Booked's wee dram of Scotch risque invites Sky Out for an extra large one. And we say yes please.

Where we going then?

Doh, I haven't been out on a date for so long. Let's start off in an amusement arcade and have a bit of a giggle. Then we'll go to a pub, but not a posh one. Somewhere with a quiz or where there's a really bad singer on.

Are we getting glammed up?

No, I'll be casual but I'll have my new Nikes on. You can wear what you like. Footwear's important, though.

My round. What can I get you?

I usually drink wine, but in a pub it often comes out of a box. So I'll have a vodka and coke. But let me get the first one.

Shall I get some tequila slammers in?

No. I had two of them once and went completely comatose. I get pissed quite quickly. I'll start giggling a lot and saying "Wahey!" all the time. But I'll pace myself.

Any taboo subjects tonight?

I'm not into football. And don't go on about ex-girlfriends. Just keep me interested.

Here's a quid for the jukebox. What d'you want to put on?

Blondie's Call Me because Debbie Harry's so cool. Then something that'll make us laugh, like a bit of Chas'n'Dave.

Where next?

A club. Yeah, let's go to a mad 70s disco place. We'll get straight on the dancefloor and go crazy.

Are we gonna meet up with any of your celeb mates?

No. It's just going to be me and you.

Is that bloke bothering you? Want me to deck him?

I often get blokes shouting, "Hey, it's that Scottish chick!" and I say, "Thanks for reminding me. Doh! I forgot." But I can handle them, it's all right.

Are you gettin a bit flirty here?

I don't know. I'm really bad at knowing what flirty is. I'm just being friendly. It's up to you to decide. But you'll have to make the first move.

Right you are. Fancy a snog then?

No, I'm not one for public displays of affection. I'd rather take you down a back alley.

Let's go then.

OK, but let's get a night bus. The other night all my friends were hailing taxis and I shouted: "There's a bus!" So I ran down Regent Street and caught it. It only cost 60p and when I sat down and looked at my ticket it had "Child" written on it.

Kebab?

I never get the munchies after drinking. Certainly not kebabs. I had one once and Woke up with bits all over my face. Let's just pop to a B2 and take some fruit back.

Your place or mine?

Mine, but only for coffee. I'm a very good girl.

Course you are. How about some tunes to get us in the mood?

Good idea. I'll put on Urban Hymns.

Are you going to boot me out first thing in the morning?

No, you can stay in bed. I'll rustle us up some breakfast, bring the TV and video through to the bedroom and We'll watch Pee Wee's Big Adventure. It's perfect for hangovers.