FHM - TV Babe

Early risers may have stumbled across Sunday morning show Fully Booked. It's a Bit like Live and Kicking, and it's presented by two smutty blokes and a tiny blonde Scots lass. She's 27, her name is Gail Porter, and on screen she's plagued by innuendo - usually from co-presenter and former Blue Peter star Tim Vincent. "One time," she giggles, "we got to the letters spot, and I came across a letter that I knew I couldn't read out. Tim's going,'Go on Gail, read it - go on!' It said: 'Dear Gail, I read in a magazine that you've had your nipple pierced and that it makes you feel very feminine. I decided to do the same, and got both pierced. I don't feel feminine at all - where have I gone wrong? With love, Bob.' It cracked me up, but all I could say was, 'Thanks for the letter, Bob.' While Tim's going, 'No, no, read it, Gail, read it!"

At home in London's West Hampstead, the 5ft 4in beauty is reminiscing about a year which has seen her transformed into a major name in kids TV. "I worked behind the scenes for just about every Scottish TV company - I was a runner, receptionist, production assistant..." she says. "One day I was bored, so I got a camera guy to do a show reel. I sent it to ten TV companies. Five got back within a week. I went to an audition and I just couldn't stop laughing. It was for a kids' gameshow - and they gave me the job! So I moved to London. That was two years ago. I'm having a riot. I always wanted to be famous."

To that end, the pre-teen Gail endured Scottish dancing, school plays and endless pouting in front of the mirror. "We even did our own Why Don't You?" she laughs, "with Irish accents and everything."

Her favourite childhood memory involves playing at Bodie and Doyle with school pal Caroline. Ultimately, they ended up in Gail's gang hut. "It had a carpet and everything," she boasts. "I loved sweeping it. Even now I like cleaning and tidying, but I can't cook. One time everyone was slagging me off for not being able to cook, so I invited everyone round for lasagne. They all took a mouthful and spat it out. I'd forgotten to cook the meat!"

About the same time, 16-year-old Gail started going out with her first boyfriend. "It was my mate's brother," she says apologetically. "I was a bit shy with lads, and it was a disaster."

Eleven years down the line, things aren't much rosier on the bloke front. Gail's single, claims she can't remember the last time she had sex, and - curiously - says she doesn't get chatted up. "I don't know why," she shrugs. "I probably wouldn't be able to tell if a bloke was chatting me up. I'm useless."

Anyone fancying their chances with pint-size Gail should be warned that she's no pushover - she's a third dan karate black-belt, which is how come she was able to pull off this nifty high-kick for FHM. "I love Hong Kong Phooey!" she laughs. "I've got a great big poster of him on my kitchen door!"

And a word to would-be suitors: you've got two rivals, The Verve's Richard Ashcroft and Eddie Izzard.

"Ashcroft's just beautiful," she grins. "And Eddie's stunning. Lovely. Can you imagine trying on all his clothes? I wouldn't want to go out!"